I can’t believe my last post was at the beginning of December… and the worst blogger of the year award goes to (drumroll please)… ME! I am so sorry guys, but I promise I have a valid excuse.
A lot has changed in those two [almost three], short months of being MIA and I do mean A LOT!
To catch you up to speed, Willie got home from deployment right before Christmas [insert happy wife dance]! We got to celebrate the holidays, and bring in the new year together – little did we know that wasn’t all we would be bringing in together!
A few weeks later we got the surprise of a lifetime, in the form of this… Two very distinct blue lines.
But let’s rewind a little bit, before I get ahead of myself…
Like most couples who have been together for awhile or have been married for a few years, Willie and I knew that kids were in our near future. After years of nannying for several families, loving on our nephews, and me constantly battling my ‘baby fever‘, Willie finally warmed up to the idea of having a kid of our own – he was finally ready to take on this ‘Daddy’ role and naturally I was over the moon [I’ve only wanted to be a mom since FOREVER]!
Neither of us put a definite timeline on it, but we knew some time in 2017 was ideal for us (if it was in God’s plan). After months of tossing around ‘baby talk’, we finally came to an agreement… Once he got back from deployment in December, we wouldn’t necessarily start “trying” per say, but we would no longer prevent it (if that makes sense)?!
Now, neither of us really liked the idea of “trying to get pregnant“… Yes, we both wanted it to eventually happen, but in a very natural way (in God’s timing). Yes, I knew roughly around the time I ovulated each month, so that definitely helped. However, we in no way had plans on forcing it. We didn’t want sex to feel like an weekly, unromantic chore, so we both accepted the fact that it would happen whenever it was meant to be – which in our case and much to our surprise, just so happened to be RIGHT AWAY (literally a few weeks after Willie got home from deployment).
My mom always jokingly said we come from a line of very fertile genes and up until now I used to shake my head and laugh it off… but it’s hard not to think that there must have been some truth to what she was saying.
All jokes aside, we feel SO fortunate, thankful, grateful, and blessed that God decided to act on the desires of our hearts so quickly. I know not all pregnancy stories are like ours – getting pregnant right away, so effortlessly. I know countless women who have and continue to struggle with conceiving and infertility. Although, I personally do not know how that must feel, I know that God makes no mistakes and each of our stories are beautiful and unique in their own way. I fully believe God gives us all different paths and different challenges in life to mold us into the people he has destined us to be – people who learn, grow, and become stronger than they ever thought they could be – people who share their experiences and tell their stories to give hope, inspire, support, and love other people.
Let’s fast forward a little bit…
I remember it clear as day.
I woke up that morning feeling tired and ‘crampy’ like I usually do when trusty, old mother nature knocks on my door each month. However, she didn’t come this time. There was no knock on the door. I didn’t think much of it, since my cycle was still trying to normalize after stopping my birth control back in October. I knew there was always the possibility of the inevitable, but for some reason I was not alarmed or worried. My period must have just been running late this month.
I am no stranger to a pregnancy test, in fact Willie and I have had a few pregnancy ‘scares’ in the past, so I always try and keep one or two around at any given time. Luckily, that particular morning I had two on hand, so when my period didn’t show up – I decided to take one, just because I had one right there at my disposal.
I remember peeing on the stick, placing it on the bathroom counter, walking away to check my phone and waiting those two, agonizing minutes… Strangely, I was calm because I knew it would be negative, just like all the other tests I had taken in the past. My two minutes were up, I walked back in to take a look, expecting to see only one line.
What happened next, I can’t really describe.
There were TWO blue lines [not faint lines either, I’m talking BIG and BOLD]
It’s a moment I will never forget.
I remember looking away and then looking back to make sure my eyes weren’t playing tricks on me. I took a deep breath, and immediately started crying [happy tears]. I had never been so happy and absolutely terrified in my life. After the wave of shock came over me, I still had my doubts – no matter how dark and bold the lines appeared there was absolutely NO WAY that this could be right! Conveniently, I had one more pregnancy test on hand, so I decided I wouldn’t say anything to Willie until I took another test the next morning.
That whole day/night was torture. There was definitely an ‘elephant in the room’ and it was staring right at me. I wanted to tell Willie SO bad, but I wanted to be a little more convinced before I broke my silence. The next morning, Willie headed off to work at his usual time and as soon as he left I ran into the bathroom to take another test. Anxiously, I talked myself into believing that yesterday’s test was just a ‘false positive’, there must have been some sort of error. I was certain that this test would give me a more accurate reading and that it would in fact be negative.
God had other plans.
My second test looked identical to the one from the day earlier: two big, bold, blue lines. PREGNANT! I cried once again, surprise surprise [give me a break okay… my body was surging with hormones after all right?!].
That night I told Willie before bed. He was in utter disbelief! After I showed him the two positive tests, he was EXCITED, but I could tell he was also very guarded and reserved. To be quite honest, it wasn’t the ‘picture perfect’, tears flowing, hugging, kissing, YouTube worthy reaction that I had hoped for and pictured in my head, but after talking to him about it, I understood where he was coming from and how he was feeling. As exciting and overwhelming as it all was, he didn’t want to get too emotionally attached to this idea of having a baby, only to be disappointed and let down at the first ultrasound appointment – he was super excited, a little bit speechless and A LOT a bit scared, and quite frankly so was I. After so many seasons of waiting throughout our lives, we didn’t expect to get what we asked for, so quickly.
A few weeks went by and the highly anticipated day had come, our first ultrasound appointment! I’m not going to lie, I was nervous and scared – scared to be excited about a baby that may or may not be there. We went into the room for the ultrasound and there it was – loud and clear, the heartbeat! The doctor said everything looked great and that baby’s heartbeat was loud, fast [165bpm], and strong – exactly what you want! I looked over at Willie and he was tearing up [there was that sweet reaction and rush of emotion I was looking for weeks earlier]. If the day couldn’t get any more emotional, our due date just happened to land on September 20th, which is Willie’s grandpa’s birthday – his grandpa that he lost just over a year ago, who he was very close to. I know it probably won’t happen [very rarely are babies born on their due dates], but it is just so very sweet, special, and sentimental to both Willie and I that our first born could possibly be born on his birthday!
I know we still have a long ways to go in this pregnancy and anything can happen at anytime, but this appointment was definitely a sigh of relief for us. We left feeling giddy, excited, and hopeful.
So… as of today, I am 11 weeks and 2 days
Cravings: Air Heads, sour straws, ice cream, cake, doughnuts, saltines, french fries -YIKES hide the sweets! Oh, and Chef Boyardee Beefaroni [also known as ‘Barfaroni’ so strange I know, but I’m loving it]!
Dislikes: MEAT, MEAT, AND MEAT – especially chicken! Also, I’ve not really been in the mood for Italian or Mexican – which are two of my absolute faves!
Melts my heart: When Willie wakes up in the morning for work, kisses me and then kisses my tummy – no better feeling in the world than seeing the man you love, love the child that you both made…
Most excited for: To finally see a bump versus looking bloated 24/7. I keep looking in the mirror every morning to see even the slightest change but no significant changes yet.
Not looking forward to: Being SUPER pregnant in all the prime, hot, and humid summer months [I am not a pleasant person to be around when I’m hot and sticky, so this scares me], and all the blood work at my next doctors appointment – actually all the blood work, IV’s, shots, and needles throughout this pregnancy [needles make me cringe] I guess it’s something I better get used to though…
Exercise: I’ve totally been slacking – there is just no excuse! I’m currently going to the gym 1-2 days out of the week which is a drastic change from before when I was going 4-5 days a week. Willie tries his best to get me going, but my energy levels just have been so down this trimester and it’s hard to get motivated when you’re nauseous – however, now that I’m feeling a little better I’m really going to make a conscious effort to get back into the swing of things [obviously not my usual hardcore workouts, but at least getting back used to 3-4 days a week in the gym]! I have to stay fit and active for myself and baby!
Gender: We both pray for a healthy baby/pregnancy first and foremost, but to no ones surprise I want a girl and Willie wants a boy – of course we will be happy and overjoyed either way!
Predictions: My gut instinct tells me girl, Willie says boy. So far most of the ‘old wives tales’ point to girl, the popular Chinese gender chart says girl and the ring test says girl, then boy [some people swear by them, but is there really any accuracy to these silly pregnancy predictors]?! Naturally, most of the girls I talk with say girl and the guys swear it’s boy [after all those Olson genes run strong and are notorious for breeding boys – Willie is 1 of 4 boys AND Willie’s oldest brother has 3 boys]. Talk about odds to beat, but I think it’s about time for a girl… I always used to say even in our early years of dating that I would have the first girl – so we shall wait and see!
Our little gender reveal is set for late April when we’re home for my sisters wedding. We could find out sooner, but we’ve chosen to wait a little bit longer… I just think it will be so much more special to find out around our immediate family versus here in Hawaii just the two of us! We can’t wait to be home and share all the exciting things our little family is up to!
How am I feeling: I’m feeling less nauseous for the most part, no more headaches, but still tired a lot. My boobs have almost doubled in size and are still terribly sore. I’m feeling huge these days, but don’t look it at all. I enjoy watching ‘This Is Us’ while eating Ben & Jerry’s and watching Willie lay out in the sun while I sit in our hammock in the shade.
How’s hubby: He has been such a trooper through all of this! He is constantly asking how I’m feeling, if I need anything, what I want to eat. He hasn’t been cooking much because he knows how queasy some of those smells make me. He’s been helping out and doing the dishes when I couldn’t bare to because of the nausea. He’s SO excited to be a Daddy and loves our baby so much already! I seriously couldn’t ask for a better person to do life with!
Thank you again to each and every one of you for all the love and congratulations over the past few weeks! We are so very fortunate to have such an amazing God and support system! This season of life is one we have little to no experience in, but we feel so humbled to be able to share our life, our journey, and our story with you all!
I promise I’ll be a better blogger – stay tuned for more pregnancy updates!